Hello.  My name is Sam Fox-Hartin, and I have a dream.  It’s weird and recurring, and has a butterfly with Nick Nolte’s face for wings, but now is not the time for that, no.  My dream isn’t so much a dream, as it is a low-paying job at Gotham comedy club that I start at the beginning of July.  And here is where you come in, you stereotypically gracious, kindhearted, empathetic New Yorkers: to have a dream, I must have a place to sleep.  So I implore you, faceless internet-dweller, to let me (a known non-snorer) crash on your couch for a couple of days at a time.  I, being poor, have only my dreams, and could not pay rent if my life depended upon it, but here is a list of things I can do for you to make your life super great while I take up space:

-buy groceries/beer

-cook those groceries/beer! (both vegetarian and non vegetarian style)

-walk dogs/cats/exotic birds

-pick up and put down objects (from non to moderate heaviness)

-wake you up!

-edit! (really! i don’t mind!)

-provide sports statistics and expert analysis

-delight friends and enemies with close up magic

So please, help a kid make his way in this crazy, messed up world.  In all seriousness, I cannot express how grateful I would be for any support.  Thank you all.

-sam